Sally Caldwell's 
Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying

Book Review by Patrick Killough [March 14, 2001]


Liars Make Bad Lovers. More men than you might think  tell lies to make women fall in love with them. With disarming ease Romantic Liars gain power over women who are quite sure that they are too smart to be snared. Texas sociology professor Sally Caldwell
presents case studies illustrating that the danger is real and that too many women do not pick up on warning signs. Even after they know they have been deceived, women fail to remove themselves from their trap.

Six Signs of Trouble

The author lists six warning signals no woman should ignore. 

(1) Her new friend encourages her to rely only on him for information.

(2) He gives her just enough favorable information about himself to keep her from wanting to dig deeper and verify. 

(3) He monitors her daily schedule of events and keeps her away from friends who might help her smell a rat. 

(4) He keeps the romance running smoothly by staying focused on easily faked aspects of himself: shared interests or values, attentiveness, self-control and politeness. 

(5) The romantic liar is, however, also a controller and an abuser and inevitably lets these ugly features flash out. 

(6) He undermines the woman' confidence to the extent that she distrusts her intuition that something is wrong. She does not want anyone to think that she is acting irrationally.

Author Sally Caldwell worries that we live in a society where deception, even in most intimate relations, is far too easy. A wooed woman should not be afraid to talk with close friends and trusted family
members about the new relationship. Searching the internet (called "googling" after the well known search engine) or looking up records about the wooer's alleged PhDs or military medals can use positive aspects of our society to fight against the negative. The book concludes with a practical appendix of readily available self-protection
sources of information.

Another  good treatment of the ethics of deliberate deception is Hannah Arendt, 'Lying in Politics' in CRISES OF THE REPUBLIC.

Sally Caldwell. Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying.   Adams Media Corporation. 1999. Paper. 214pp. ISBN: 1580622100.

-OOO-
 

[Note: I  submitted variations of this review to amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com. TPK 05/27/01.]